Question:
I am dating a dentist who is going through a divorce. Her soon to be ex
husband is a currently licensed RN in Arkansas. He knows that she has been
seeing me and wishes to make the divorce as difficult as possible. I have
stayed out of their divorce battles, but feel that he has crossed a boundary
that I can not tolerate.
He has told her that the last time he was in her office, he photocopied and
took with him without anyone's knowledge or consent my patient record. It
has a lot of personal information and medical history in it. He probably
wants to use the info. against me in some manner in his divorce. He was not
employed as an RN or otherwise in her office at the time.
Is there anything I can do?
Is that conduct ethical with regard to his nursing license?
I have thought about filing a complaint with the Arkansas Nursing Board but
don't know if it would be appropriate. I just feel that some sort of action
should be taken but don't know what I can do.
Answer:
Well lets start with invasion of privacy (this is civil but pretty
well established that PUNITIVE damages for mental anguish are possible), theft
of the record, theft of services (the copy machine), might be able to get
breaking and entering based on how he gained access to the office. (Not an
attorney, just talking what seems possible).
Of course proving that he was doing anything other than blowing off
steam would probably be the hard part.
It is interesting to me that you mention *their divorce battles.* Has this
divorce been going on for a long time? You noted that he wished to make the
divorce as difficult as possible---is there a chance that this is a
passive-dependent relationship going on here? Those who prolong their divorce
battles often thrive on the relationship, demented though it may be. Please
stop to consider whether this is such a relationship. If this divorce has
been going on for months (say over 3, for instance) I would urge you to
re-think the whole situation and consider whether they are in some weird way
*enjoying* the process just a little too much. If she is constantly talking
about what *he* has done, or said, or might do, then I think you have a strong
likelihood that there is a passive-dependent relationship going on. If that
be the case, suggest you bow out of this situation and leave them alone, as
they will keep this going on for months and months and perhaps in the end even
get back together instead of divorcing. Do think it over and be sure that
things are as you think they are---just some thoughtful comments from someone
who has seen this situation before.
I suggest that you *not* file a complaint, as you appear to have no proof. He
is certainly going to deny this if asked about it by the board, and if you do
file the complaint without any proof, it would seem to me that this will give
him even more cannon fodder for further explosions. In the end, the finger
could be pointing at you, for something like defamation of character or worse.
I would stay clear of this, unless you have definitive proof which could be
used in a court of law.
